Courage to Touch
3/19/20252 min read
“Because there is something in the touch of flesh with flesh which abrogates, cuts sharp and straight across the devious intricate channels of decorous ordering, which enemies as well as lovers know because it makes them both…. But let flesh touch with flesh, and watch the fall of all the eggshell shibboleth of caste and color too. ”
― William Faulkner, Absalom, Absalom!
True confessions:
I’m not so literary that I’ve actually read Absalom, Absalom!(even if it is on that “one day” list).
Yes, I had to look up the meanings of a few words in the quote above.
I heard the quote referred to in a podcast that was so meaningful to me I have listened to it twice. Once Removed: An American Family Reunion is the true story of two families, one Black and one White, from York County, South Carolina, the onetime heart of the Ku Klux Klan. Through a random Facebook friend suggestion, two men connect. They find the courage to meet, and even more courage to dig into their pasts to find trauma and heroes on both sides. So much ground is covered in their story that is more like the unfolding of a mystery than the teaching of a history lesson. It’s entertaining and informative. Enlightening and sobering. A roadmap for healing.
A few of my take-aways:
Generational trauma can exist through the guilt of inflicting pain, not only receiving it.
Racism is taught. So is reconciliation.
We can’t change the past, but we can correct history by restoring the historical record.
Even William Faulkner knew, in the middle of Jim Crow in the depths of the South, that if we can have the courage to touch another, the shibboleth (a belief or idea that is considered important by a group of people, but may be incorrect) of race and class falls away. It’s only made of eggshell anyway. Maybe that’s where we start in this disturbing climate today: getting to know someone who seems to be so different from us. If we spend the time to really know them, the eggshell breaks, and we find we are more alike than we are different.
There’s a link to Once Removed at the bottom. It’s only available on Audible, but it’s free. (And if you're not a member, you can try for free for a month.)
I learned about this podcast from a friend.(Thank you, A-S!) If you have a book, a movie, or a podcast that has resonated with you recently, I’d love to know about it!
Be well,
J