Elegy to Childhood

There's something about the month of December that sparks the memories of childhood...

Elegy to Childhood

I watch them get out of the car,

Backpacks, laden with long nights of homework,

Slung low on their hips.

They shoulder the new independence of driving with confidence

Sipping from Starbucks cups

As they climb the front steps

Together.

I think it was yesterday when I met them at the bus

Hoisting a backpack on each of my shoulders,

Relieving them of the burdens of the day-

When milk and cookies could ease any angst,

When homework was clinched in minutes at the kitchen table

So they could get to the real business of

Creating a world of forts and dolls and sidewalk chalk.

The stern world of achievement, production, and deadlines

Has become their domain too soon;

Usurping the world of imagination, play, and timelessness.

Nights spent poring over textbooks and laptops in separate rooms

Replacing leisurely tales told in pajamas in twin beds.

I hear them in the kitchen

Refueling with midnight popcorn and coffee.

Even with circles darkening beneath their eyes,

Their energy outlasts me.

No need to hide the Santa paper anymore

Or leave notes from the tooth fairy.

Attempts to stretch their childhoods have ended

Without awareness of the last bedtime story read,

Or the final curtain call for their homemade play.

The older perhaps pretending a little too long

While the younger cut her imaginary games short

So they could grow up

Together.

Judith Bice

I initially wrote this piece when my daughters were in high school. And that has been a minute. I wrote it from the perspective of a mother watching her children gradually exit childhood. A mother aching for that leaving -not in fear for what was to come, but in gratitude for what had been.

Recently, it was choreographed into a dance by Starr Foster for PAGE to STAGE III (https://www.starrfosterdance.org.) She took my words and created a dance from the children’s perspective. That shift in perspective helped me find more meaning in my own words. I watched the dancers enjoy being children on stage, and I was given a glimpse into “childhood” that I hadn’t noticed before. Here’s to considering other perspectives!

I went back to the next performance and was rewarded with more depth and understanding. The SFD tagline: ‘Art that makes you feel something’ is real. The experience reminded me of what I’ve learned many times before, but tend to forget in this race to do it all: revisiting art is where we really understand it and where it gives us its gifts. Rereading a favorite book, rewatching a movie, going to a show a second time… is not a waste of time. It’s what we did as children when we played the same game over and over. It’s what we did as teenagers when we listened to the same album over and over. Maybe it’s what we need to do when the world gets overwhelming. Maybe it’s just a good practice.

Whatever your chosen art form: literature, film, visual art, dance, music, or something else- may you find new meaning in the old. However you celebrate your holidays, may you be gifted with a shift in perspective that deepens your experience and brings you joy!

Be well~J